


What I Can't Have

by annaxmims



Series: Tumblr Prompts [69]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Buck is a Good Dad, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Gen, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24448753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annaxmims/pseuds/annaxmims
Summary: Tumblr Prompt:Hi, could you write a story where Eddie and Anna are starting to date so Buck who knows he like Eddie slowly pulls away from him and by default Chris as well? Chris asks to spend the night at Bucks instead of Carlas because he wants his Buck but Eddie tells Chris 'Buck is busy' Chris slowly gets sadder and Buck doesnt talk to most of the team anymore. Eddie only notices after Anna and the team ask about Bucks lack of interaction. Eddie confronts him and they admit their feelings. Thank you❤❤
Relationships: Ana Flores/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Tumblr Prompts [69]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626286
Comments: 8
Kudos: 432





	What I Can't Have

“Hey what are you doing tonight?” Buck asked, jogging to catch up with Eddie as they left the station.

“Uh I’ve got a date tonight,” Eddie answered as he slung his bag into the bed of his truck.

“With Ana?”

“Yeah. Why what’s up?”

“Nothing, I was just wondering is Christopher wanted to hang out. I haven’t seen him in a while and he’d been going on about this new game he wanted to show me.”

“I’m sure he does. Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Yeah sure. That’s cool.”

“Alright, I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

Buck scrubbed a hand over his face as Eddie drove away.

“You okay Buckaroo?” Hen questioned.

“Yeah I’m fine.”

*****

“I shouldn’t be jealous. I have no right to be jealous. It’s not like I own Eddie, I just kinda thought he might know how I felt,” Buck ranted as he paced Maddie’s living room.

“Buck first of all, sit down you’re burning a hole in the rug. Second of all, Eddie’s not a mind reader. You never actually told him how you felt right?”

“Right,” Buck sighed.

“Then no, Eddie has no idea how you feel. And as far as being jealous, it’s a normal feeling, Eddie is your best friend and you have feelings for him. But you can’t come between him and Ana. You want him to be happy right?”   


“Of course I do.”

“Then let him be happy Buck. Eddie deserves it.”

“Yeah, yeah he does.”

*****

“Hey Buck, you wanna come over tonight? Chris wants you to make dinner and watch a movie with us?”

“Yeah sure. I have to protect the little guy from the poison you call food.”

“Hey I’ve gotten better. And Ana is going to be there, she always makes sure the food is at least semi-edible.”

“Oh uh, I just remembered I have to help Maddie with something tonight. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Some other time then.”

“Yeah, tell Chris I’m sorry.”

“Yeah will do. Have fun with Maddie.”

“I will. You have fun with movie night.”

“Yeah sure. See you later.”

“Yeah sure.”

*****

Buck was on his fourth beer and had a significant buzz going when Eddie texted him. It was a selfie of him, Christopher and Ana with a game board spread out around them.

_ We miss you!  _ Was the text he’d put under it.

Buck didn’t answer and instead locked his phone and shoved it under a pillow on the couch. He downed the last of his beer and grabbed another one.

*****

“Hey Cap, where’s Buck?” Eddie questioned on his next shift.

“He asked to switch to nights for a while, said he had something going on.”

Eddie furrowed his brow in confusion but nodded, “He’s had something going on a lot lately. He turned down movie night with Chris.”

“To be honest I’m a little worried about him. He came to eat dinner with us the other night but he wasn’t himself.”

“Maddie would let us know if something serious was going on right?”

“Of course she would. Don’t worry too much about Buck, he’ll be alright.”

Eddie nodded but wasn’t convinced.

*****

“Daddy why can’t I stay with Buck tonight?” Christopher questioned as Eddie helped him pack an overnight bag.

“I told you buddy Buck is busy. He has to work.”

“It’s not fair,” Christopher pouted. “I don’t wanna stay with Carla, I want to see Buck.”

“I know it’s not what you want but you’re gonna have fun with Carla.”

“No!”

Eddie was shocked by Christopher’s tone.

“I’m not going. Stay here with me.”

“You had better watch your tone young man,” Eddie kept his voice level and even, fixing his son with a hard look.

Christopher sank and Eddie felt his heart break a little as his eyes filled with tears. 

“I miss Buck. What if he doesn’t like me anymore?”

“Buddy,” Eddie sat next to him on the bed and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “I know you miss Buck and I know Buck still loves you. He’s just had a lot going on alright? I promise next time he is free we can hang out with him. Just the three of us, or just you two if you don’t want me there.”

“You promise this isn’t like last time?”

Eddie hadn’t realized that Christopher was so deeply affected by Buck and the lawsuit.

“No buddy, this isn’t like last time.”

“Okay,” Christopher reached up to wipe his tears.

“Alright, Carla is going to be here to pick you up any minute so finish getting your stuff together.”

When Carla arrived, Eddie sent her off with a warning.

“He’s a little prickly tonight, He wanted to stay with Buck, but he has to work and he’s upset. He hasn’t seen him in a while and he was afraid it was like the lawsuit.”

Carla made a sympathetic noise and nodded, “I haven’t seen Buck in a while either. Is he alright?”

“Yeah I think so. He switched to second shift so I haven’t seen him much either, but the team is going out this weekend and I’m sure Maddie and Chim will drag him along. I’ll check on him then.”

Carla nodded and kissed his cheek, “Have fun on your date. Me and Chris will be just fine.”

*****

When Buck saw Eddie walk into the bar with Ana, he almost stood up and walked out. However, they’d spotted him and didn’t have time to make his escape.

“I can’t be here,” he whispered to Maddie.

“Buck it’s fine. You don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to.”

Eddie approached them, Ana hanging on to his arm.

“Guys this is Ana, Ana this is Bobby, his wife Athena, Hen and her wife Karen, Chimney, Buck and his sister Maddie.”

“It’s nice to meet you. You must be the infamous Buck that Christopher always talks about.”

“He talks about me?”

“All the time. He’s always so proud of the projects you help him with.”

Buck felt a wave of shame as the fact that Christopher talked about him to his teachers and he had been slowly removing himself from his life.

Buck downed the last of his beer and stood, “I need another drink. Anyone else?”

They all spouted their orders at him.

“I’ll come with you,” Eddie said. “You’ll need some help carrying this stuff.”

Buck just nodded and took off in the direction of the bar.

“Are you okay man?” Eddie asked as they were waiting on their drinks. “You’ve been blowing me off a lot lately.”

“Yeah I”m fine. I’ve just been busy, ya know helping Maddie get ready for the baby and everything.”

“Yeah I get that. It’s just- Christopher misses you man and you’ve been turning down hanging out with him. Something is off about you.”

“Dude I’m fine okay? Just drop it.”

Buck picked up half of the drinks and headed back to the table. Eddie grabbed the other half and hurried after him. Once they had all the drinks distributed, Buck grabbed his jacket.

“I need some air,” he said.

Eddie watched him leave and tried to shake it off, cracking the top on his beer and taking a long drink. He tried to make small talk, asking Maddie and Chim about the baby and telling them that he still had some of Christopher’s baby things in the attic he might be willing to part with. His eyes kept drifting to the door, watching for the familiar bouncing steps of his best friend, but he never returned.

“He’s been out there a while,” Chim commented, noticing the direction of Eddie’s gaze.

“You should go check on him,” Ana agreed. “See if he’s alright.”

“Yeah okay,” Eddie grabbed his own jacket and stood. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

He found Buck in the parking lot, door to the back of his Jeep open, sitting in his trunk.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Eddie asked as he hoisted himself up next to him. “You’ve been out here a while.”

“I needed a break.”

“From what?”

“Everything,” Buck muttered.

“Very specific,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Seriously what’s your problem?”

“You. You’re my problem.”

Eddie was hit with a swift wave of dejavu.

“What do you mean? What did I do?”

“You walked in here with her, looking all perfect, shoving my face in the fact that I can’t have what I want. And then you throw Christopher at me too. It’s not fair.”

Buck looked up at him with tears in his blue eyes.

“Buck you lost me. Just tell me what’s going on. What do you want that you can’t have?”

“You. I want you and I can’t have you because she has you. And I can’t even be mad because she’s so fucking nice and it’s my own fault that I didn’t tell you sooner. I tried Eddie, I tried not to feel like this but it didn’t work. So I ran, I ran away and I hurt everyone all over again inthe process.”

“You have feelings for me?”

“Yeah Eddie. I don’t know how I could have been any more clear.”

Buck dropped his head into his hands. Eddie placed a hand on his chin, lifting his head to look at him.

“Tell me this is real. Tell me you’re not drunk and that this is really how you feel.”

“I’m not drunk Eddie. I had one drink. This is real.”

“Good, because then I can do this,” Eddie leaned forward, pressing his lips to Buck’s.

They were surprisingly soft, a little salty from his tears and he could taste the beer on his tongue when he licked into his mouth. Buck surged forward, hands gripping Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie brought a gentle hand up to cup his face.

He finally had to pull away for air, but he rested his forehead on Buck’s, not wanting to get too far out of his space.

“Buck I feel the same way. You’re my best friend, you’re another father to my son, you were there for me when no one else was. I love you Buck.”

“I love you too,” Buck whispered. “What about Ana?

“Ana knows. At least partially. We’re not dating Buck, just good friends.”

“But you went on dates with her.”

“Yeah we went on a few dates before we decided we were better off as friends. Christopher loves her, but not as much as you. He’s really missed you.”

“I’ve missed him too.”

“Come home with me? Nothing has to happen, but Christopher will be really glad to see you and I don’t want to send you home alone.”

“I don’t want to go home alone.”

“Okay then.”

“What are we going to tell everyone else?”

“The truth? Unless you’re not ready.”

“No the truth is good.”

“Okay.”

Eddie took Buck by the hand and together they hopped off the trunk.

When the entered the bar hand in hand, they were met with cheers and the passing of money.

“You had a bet?” Buck screeched.

“Maybe,” Chim admitted sheepishly.

“Well who won?” Eddie asked.

“Hen,” Bobby huffed.

“Suckers,” she cackled as she counted the money,

“It’s about time,” Ana laughed. “I’m glad the two of you are happy.”

“Thanks Ana,” Buck smiled genuinely.

*****

“Buck!” Christopher cheered when he entered the house, slamming into his legs.

“Woah, hey buddy,” Buck regained his balance before hugging him tightly.

“I missed you,” Christopher mumbled, face smushed against Buck’s shoulder.

“I missed you too.”

“Did the two of you finally get your heads out of your butts?”

“Yeah we did,” Eddie laughed.

“Good. You hurt him there will be hell to pay, you understand me?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I’ll leave you boys alone. Enjoy your evening.”

The three of them gave her hugs goodbye and called goodbyes out the door.

“Okay buddy it’s bedtime,” Eddie said, turning to his son.

“Daddy can I stay up just a little longer with Buck? I don’t have school tomorrow. Please?”

Buck fixed him with his own pleading glance.

“Yeah okay. Ten o’clock alright?”

“Thank you daddy.”

All three of them ended up falling asleep on the couch and the two men would have sore necks to pay for it, but neither of them could find room to complain. They were content to fall back asleep, tangled up with their son.


End file.
